i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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