They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
