im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
