just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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