i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
