nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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