I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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