She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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