so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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