Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
