what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
