are you still at the devil's house?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize