So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
