I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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