He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
