you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
How's work?
Spinning.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
