I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
