Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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