Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
