So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
