Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
