Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize