dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
