You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
