jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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