You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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