My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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