I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
