What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
