If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
