Where did you get a picture of my penis
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
