How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
