at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
