Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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