I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
