Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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