saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
