At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
