I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
