Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
