your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
