whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
