people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
