You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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