Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
