I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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