Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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