remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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