I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
