not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
